'fessin up

I did it. I told Jack the truth. I am, honestly, very surprised that Dan didn't tell him yesterday. Thinking of all the guilt I'd hauled around all day, I heard him yelling for me from downstairs to lay down with him. So I did! (Yay for me) I had my arms around him and I said, "Jack, I need to tell you something. Remember this morning on the way to school and you said that Jackson said he thought it was your parents who put money under your pillow instead of the tooth fairy? well, it's true. It is..." By this time, my voice was barely a whisper. I could hardly bring myself to say it! I felt almost like I was doing something criminal (yes, it's a confusing time for me - tell the truth but it feels criminal). I felt like I was confiding a huge secret in him, the first of his siblings to know something important, something he has to keep to himself. And THEN IT DAWNED ON ME - HE HAS TO KEEP HIS OWN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT!!
But I digress... back to my confession. Jack was silent a long moment. He was facing away from me, so I couldn't read his face. I said, "Jack? Are you mad?" (What?!?! What kind of question is that. I am such a dumb ass). Finally I could see a slight smile on his face, and he said, "How do you keep the smile on your face?"

HUH?

Me: "What?"
Jack: "How do you keep the smile on your face?"
Me: "I don't know what you mean."
Jack: "In the morning, when I show you what I got, the money. How do you show the smile on your face and act surprised?"
Me: "Well, Jack...(stalling), I guess it's just something you do as a parent. We're so happy to see you happy, and love to have you come tell us something you are happy about and show us that you got something you wanted."
Real answer I wanted to give: "Well, Jack, when you give birth, you just get this instant ability to fake things, lie about things like a man in a red suit or a fairy breaking into your house to give your kids stuff that you really bought. Furthermore, it's perpetuating this dream you yourself believed in as a child."

A little pause here...I guess Jack is digesting this whole thing.

So I say: "Jack? Are you mad?" (Again, I'm kinda whispering, really, it's barely audible.
Jack: "No." A wave of relief floods through me.
Me: "Remember this morning when you told me to tell the truth? Well, I want you to always know that I will do that, so that's what I'm doing. I'm sorry I didn't tell you then, when you asked me. Are you mad (this is really important to me I realize - I HAVE TO KNOW)?
Jack: "No."

So it's over. I 'fessed it all. It's all out there. Well, the truth about the Tooth Fairy is anyway!

Then we had this conversation about you can't tell Katie and Cole, they haven't yet had the experience of losing a tooth and leaving it for the tooth fairy, it's very important that you let them find out on their own, can I trust you, etc. When I asked him if I could trust him, he said, yeah, if he could trust me!! WHAM, right in the ticker! Yes, I said, you can always trust me.

He kept thinking of more things to ask about this. Like how I got under his pillow (you're a hard sleeper). Or how we know how much to leave (depends on how much money we have or how much you've said you wanted like "I want two coins and two bills"). Or do you look at my tooth and see how well I've brushed it and THEN decide how much to leave? (HA! but no...) And my favorite: what do you do with my teeth. I said that I still had them. He asked what I was going to do with them, and I thought for a minute before telling him that I guess I would get rid of them because that's what my mom told me she eventually did with mine. He said NO! I said, ok ok no problem, if you want me to keep them then that's what I'll do!

Problem solved, sweetie, Momma will be happy to keep your little teeth FOR-EV-AH!