Multiculturalism

Dan needed some dress shirts for work, so we go to Macy's. Together. All of us. It was one of those weekends when we're all out together, going somewhere, and along the way, we pass the mall, and we're going in to get lunch anyway, so well...let's just pick up a few shirts while we're passing through Macy's.

Foolish. Very foolish mistake by this veteran mom of the people!

Israel and Palestine are engaged in full warfare, while Jack is whining why can't he have such-and-such Eagles jacket (You can assume here that Jack has made it his goal to become the Philadelphia Eagles' number 1 fan...he tries to pick up everything Eagles he sees and wants to go to a game), or this Eagles jersey.

Dan doesn't seem to notice all the excitement going on around him. He is coolly picking up this shirt and that one, examining the sizes, the colors, the threadcounts, whether it was made in Pakistan or China and Heaven knows what else. I mean, seriously, this man is supposed to be a buyer, not a shopper. Since when does he examine clothes this closely! He picks up a blue shirt that looks very similar to the two in his arms, turns it around, appears to be reading every single detail on the tags - really!! WHAT IS HE DOING!! BUY THE $&*##@! SHIRT OR NOT I DON'T CARE!!!

"Heather...what do you think of this one?"

"IT'S GREAT. FINE. GET IT."

"No, really, do you like the stripes? Will it go with my black pants?"

Israel is somewhere in the middle of a rack of clearance XXXL t-shirts, providing nice coverage for him, while Palestine runs around poking her head in between clothes trying to find where he is. Periodically shrilly screaming as well. Jack is alternating tugging on my sleeve and Dan's, whining why he can't get this $139.99 Eagles jacket "right now, because I don't have one of these! Puhleeeeeeease Mom and Dad!!!!!"

"Uh, sure, whatever, JUST GET IT ALREADY!!!!!"

Simultaneously, Jack and Dan respond...

Jack's face lights up like an airstrip, and he clutches the jacket to him, almost screaming, "REALLY, MOM?? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!"

Dan acts like he has reason to be exasperated with me: "Heather, I am trying to buy some clothes here. I do not appreciate you talking to me like that. I am seriously trying to find out if I can wear this shirt with my black suit pants. Are you going to help me or not???" Yeah, I'd like to help you...HELP YOU GET A CLUE!!

"No, Jack, I was talking to your father. And Dan, I am really trying to help you here...but I'm kind of handicapped with these people, can't you see that?? I mean, really, hurry up!! Yes, they'll go with black pants, now JUST BUY THEM!"

Dan FINALLY goes to the desk to pay, and I'm trying to soothe Jack's sore feelings, by the Eagles clothing section which is out in the middle of a huge aisle, by a mannequin display. I guess Katie and Cole ran out of steam - I don't really remember, but we had all sort of gathered in this spot as Dan waited to pay....it's about this time when a Muslim woman walks through, in traditional black clothing, complete with a black hijab that hides her hair and face but not her eyes. This is apparently where I have work to do as a mother, as it is totally alarming to my innocent, Southern Baptist children. Israel sticks out his finger in her direction and yells, "SHE LOOKS LIKE THE BAD GUY IN SCOOBY DOO!"

As if they had synchronized it, Palestine is pointing and almost shrieking, "WHY IS SHE DRESSED LIKE SHE'S GOING TRICK OR TREATING?!?"

Before both statements are totally out of their little mouths, I am grabbing them up and have collected them under the mannequin display, and am almost trembling with embarrassment. I'm stammering around about she's not trick-or-treating, she is not a bad guy, and so on, when guess what? Member no. 2 in the Macy's League of Nations comes around the corner...this time it's an Indian woman in her sari. Beautiful she was, but again, alarming to my children. She is followed by at least two other Muslim women, also wearing a hijab, dressed completely in black. Then another Indian family...it must be Multiculturalism Day here at Macy's. I definitely missed the memo.

Annnnd here we go again with the trick-or-treating comments, dressed like a bad guy (??), etc. I think I'm actually sweating at this point, I know my face was a million shades of red, and I also know the first two women must have heard my children's comments. I was, to say the least, mortified. Katie and Cole's eyes must have been the size of dinner plates, and by now Jack has realized what is happening and is slightly embarrassed himself. He thinks, I am sure, he is helping, but with all his arm-flailing and exasperated shushing to his brother and sister, he's just drawing more attention to our little circus under the mannequins in the center aisle. I think this is where the blood pressure headache came on.

I am doing my best to explain to them that not everybody believes like we do, and that sometimes they wear clothing according to the religious beliefs, and that that doesn't make them bad. They are good people, too, they don't deserve to be made fun of, they might have kids in your school, they chose to dress this way and no it was not for Halloween, and sometimes people's clothing has very important meanings to them. I felt like it was the best I could do under such pressure.

Finally the parade of the League of Nations has stopped, or at least slowed. Dan's through, and thankfully no one noticed the Indian man who was Dad's cashier today. He comes over to us, and wants to know why we're huddled under the mannequins like we're hiding.

Huh. I wonder.

"I'll explain it later. Let's just get out of here!"

And so through lunch and the rest of the day I struggled with the right words. It's not a mystery, you might think, but in today's time, and living where we live with the wide melting pot of cultures that we didn't have in the South, I have to be very careful what I put in my children's minds. Especially with what appears to be the first (dramatic) exposure to such a display of other religions. We talked throughout the weekend about it, and thankfully they didn't ask me any major religious philosophical questions, but I still wondered how far to delve into such a sensitive topic just yet.

All I could come up with for certain is that I'm staying away from Macy's for a long time.