Now we're Northerners: Going to Ocean City

Labor Day Weekend!! Let's do something fun! There's so much to do, and see...where do we want to go? I know! I said, a good friend of mine in Little Rock told me we should definitely take the people to Ocean City, New Jersey. He says he goes there every summer, it's great for families, and it's where everyone up goes during the summer. And look, it's only about 80 miles away!! Look here, on this website, they have amusement park rides, a huge boardwalk - how fun! Kids, get dressed! ROAD TRIP!!!

Packed a change of clothes for everyone - long sleeves and short sleeves included. Additional pair of shoes, too (You never know). Snacks. Bottled water. Checked camera battery. Found beach towels I had stuffed in bottom of duffel bags which Dan said I shouldn't have brought yet but I did because I knew we'd probably be venturing toward the ocean. Discovered sunscreen stowed away in cosmetic bag. Convinced the people why they should wear socks AND shoes. Wrote down phone numbers to Gillian's Wonderland on the Boardwalk. Drank my third Diet Dr. Pepper of the morning.

Downstairs - did I mention we live on the third floor - in the Suburban, troops are getting restless. Lola is ready, and says she has directions to the beach. First stop - Wawa. Dan's new favorite place to go. Wawa is the convenience store of champions. Before we go any further discussing our adventure to the Jersey shore, let's talk about the Wawa. They have every conceivable fountain drink of choice - except Diet Dr. Pepper of course! At any rate, Dan frequents the Wawa every day. We've found you can usually count on the Wawas to be clean, and well-stocked. Most of them have gas stations. But the remarkable thing about a Wawa is the deli where you can order on computer no less than 14,356 different kind of sandwiches and then they make it right in front of you. The choices can be overwhelming: hoagie, wheat, rye, seven-grain roll, 12" sourdough, 10" barley honey wheatberry with a touch of nutmeg, marbled honey cinnamon wheat rye, and so on. And then the meats: you can practically order anything from ham, to medium-rare grain-fed venison smoked over a hickory-infused bed of woodchips. Next you choice your cheeses, which of course run from everything from American to 19 different kinds of cheddar, and dozens of others I didn't know existed. After that, you choose what kind of greens, and other vegetables. And now you choose your spices and herbs and condiments. Mayo? Or just a little bit of mayo? And MUSTARD? The mustard choices alone probably merit one whole screen. Would you like a little bit of oregano? Perhaps some bay leaves. Or maybe a dash of cumin would make your sandwich the essence of perfection today.

By the time you have processed your choices, let alone gone through the 47 screens to order TWO sandwiches, they've gone through three shift changes behind the counter. I won't even mention the choices for smoothies.

Back in the Suburban, Israel and Palestine are squabbling over which DVD we'll watch. It's quickly rising to nuclear-warhead levels, but Dan's return (with his 98-oz Diet Coke fountain drink) distracts each of them enough to bring it down a couple of levels. Despite their protests, I pick one and start it. And so the trip begins. .... after another stop... at the bank to get some cash.

By now, we've turned in a circle half-a-dozen times, double-backed a couple of times, and totally and completely ruined Lola's perfect plan to get us to Ocean City. The whole time, she's chattering on and on..."Re.Calculating. Re.Calculating. Turn. Around. Re.Calculating. Go. 200. Feet. Turn. Around. Re.Calculating. Go. Point. Three. Miles. Then. Pull. Over. And. Get. Out. Of. The. Car. Do. Not. Ever. Drive. Again. Re.Calculating."

When we leave the bank parking lot through the one secret exit (remember I told you about the parking lots and traffic patterns up here) two-and-a-half acres behind the building, Lola is totally off. Somewhere up in space satellites are spinning a gajillion miles an hour and signals are now so scrambled Lola thinks we're in Rhode Island. It takes her a good minute or two to figure out we're actually on the road we're supposed to be on, and to quit telling us she is "Re. Calculating."

Buckner notices some clouds three states away, and asks if the hurricane will be at the ocean. No, we say emphatically in unison. But how do you know, he asks. We just look at each other. He's getting worried, and asks about the hurricane again with quite a bit more concern in his voice. He says something about cumulus clouds...which way the wind is blowing...where do people in the ocean take cover during a hurricane...etc. I'm no meteorologist, but I am not totally sure cumulus clouds are the same thing as hurricane clouds. Anyway, we assure Jack that Hurricane Earl is no where near this beach, and in fact, it's long gone, dissipated far out over the ocean. He has UNBUCKLED HIS SEAT BELT and is suddenly behind me now looking over my shoulder emphatically asking, "How do you know how do you know how do you know????" So I get the iphone and show him the weather radar map to appease his fears. Literally, the entire northeast appears to be devoid of a single cloud - cumulus or otherwise. Somewhat pacified, he tramples his way back to his seat as Dan has not stopped threatening bodily harm to him and everyone in the vehicle since he heard the click of the seat belt disconnecting.

Only 78 miles to go!!

Eventually the people calm down and zone in on whatever movie is playing. We manage to make it to Deptford Twp. (remember that? It's not a town, or a city, it's a township) where someone needs to go to the bathroom. We stop at Chik-Fil-A, where I am mercifully able to get a Diet Dr. Pepper. Dan announces "Only Mommy and so-and-so are getting out to go to the bathroom." I honestly do not remember which child it was, but supposedly only that one had to go to the potty. Dan and I will never learn, I guess: it's a domino effect. When one gets out to go potty, they all suddenly have bladders about to explode. So what are you going to do? Make them pee in their pants? So so-and-so and I get back to the vehicle, and Dan says thus-and-so has to go. I take thus-and-so by the hand to go potty. While I'm in there, I think I'm so clever to go ahead and pick up a couple of orders of nuggets. I thought I would save another stop, save time, whatever. When we come out, the Suburban is gone. We literally walk all the way around the parking lot, and finally realize Dan had gone through the drive-through, with the same idea that I had. We have to pull over before we ever get out of the parking lot due to a ketchup emergency, and now the third child has to potty.
Nothing is simple with us. We have a gift for complicating the simplest task or event.

Finally we are back on the road...of course the side trip to Chik-Fil-A has Lola all stirred up. You know that routine by now by heart, so I'll spare you.

I think we actually make it into Ocean City with no more stops. My memory's a little foggy, but I think that's right. We went through a few tolls (read: a few dollars), so I'm not 100% sure.

Ocean City, New Jersey has 2 1/2 miles of boardwalk along the Atlantic Ocean. It has two amusement parks at either end, a water park in the middle, miniature golf courses, and endless choices for eating and shopping. Apparently you have to have a tag to go onto the beach before 5:30 p.m., and since we don't have said tags, we decide to visit one of the amusement parks until we go put our toes in the ocean. We head toward Gillian's Wonderland at one end of the boardwalk. It's a pay-as-you-go amusement park. Think state fair.

Dan is such a sucker. If he thinks his children will have fun and make memories, he's all over it. He really is a great father, and will do just about anything for the kids to have a neat experience, so he buys a package of tickets. First on the list: the ferris wheel. We can practically see New York City up here! We are stopped at the top, and got some great pics of the view.



The most hilarious thing of all was this musical spinning thing (sorry, don't remember what it was called). Dan, Jack, Katie and Cole all rode it. And much to my surprise, Dan, Katie and Cole rode it again! It spins at such a speed that eventually, Katie was being crushed between Dan and her brothers because of the centrifugal force. Plus, the music is blaring. Katie's face says it all in this photo:


She wasn't crying because she was sick, just being crushed! They all got off the ride stumbling and laughing. We rode every ride that we could, and over their vehement protests, drug them out of there to see the ocean.

I don't care how many times you have seen the ocean, or oceans. I don't care if it's in the Bahamas, in the Gulf of Mexico, on the Atlantic or on the Pacific. It's always amazing. The sheer vastness of it, the power of it, it never ceases to amaze me. The sight of any ocean always brings to mind the Bible verses that talk about God's thoughts about me outnumbering the grains of sand, and I am humbled again.

The people were fascinated, too, but maybe for different reasons. It's been a while since they've seen any ocean, and could not get enough of it. Thinking back to the change of clothes in the car, I let the boys take their shirts off, and told them they could get wet if they wanted. I didn't have to tell them twice!




It only ended when the sun went down, and they were slowly but surely venturing farther and farther out into the ocean. We had to drrrrrrrag them out...three wet and very tired people!



Remember the trip here? The trip home was waaaaay more fun! Yes, being the mean parents we are making them GET OUT OF THE OCEAN DURING SHARK HAPPY HOUR, after herding them down the boardwalk (a cattle prod came to mind as maybe being helpful), to the vehicle, changing in the car - screaming and gnashing of teeth here as Katie changes and she thinks the boys are maybe trying to look at her - into dry clothes Mother had so smartly packed, and four extra-strength Tylenols later, we make it home and stagger up three flights of stairs and fall into bed.

With all the calamities and national emergencies the kids acted like they were experiencing on the way over there, when we made them leave, and on the way home, whyyyyy did we go back the next day????

Well...I guess I'll save that for another post.